Yes, you'll see me in school next week!

I woke up this morning with a happy heart and a determined attitude. I felt better than i did the previous mornings, and i told myself that i'm going to start catching up on the things i've missed the week i was absent.

Other than the two exams that i missed (one about the philippines from 1946-1972 and the other about theories of justice from the ancient greeks to the socialists), i feel that one of the things i really missed was Dr. Mendoza's lectures. You see, it's a 3-hour class. I barely get bored, there, though, because she does know a lot and her enthusiasm is kinda infectious. Plus, there's no room for boredom in that class when you have to be scribbling notes every now and then, lest you miss something important. My Psych 135 notes are the most info-filled. But of course, being the positive girl that i am, i'm not going to wallow into the fact that i have so much to catch up on. Somehow, i feel like i could easily catch up if i just really put my heart into it.

Yesterday, i missed the psychsoc rummage sale because (1) i can't be subjected to too much heat and (2) pollution would irritate my nose and cause another nosebleed. I once mentioned a few days ago that my head aches from too much resting, but once again, i was told to just be still. Being who i am, you know i have difficulty being still. I saw my tita (a doctor) yesterday and she told me that i seem to be recuperating. Yay!

On other news. Mom got her new SUV yesterday. I'm the only one now of legal age in the family who doesn't have her own car. Dad told me i should start taking driving lessons. And that the only reason he's not yet buying me a car is because having one would only make my boyfriend's life easier daw. Um, hello dad, what about my life? Your first ever child, your only daughter, is exposed to too much pollution every time she commutes (hence she got sick for a week!), is in great potential danger every time she commutes, and.. and.. well, it's just hard, ok. Being the older, more hardworking one and yet having less privileges just because i have a boyfriend. But well, i'm not really complaining. I know too well where my dad is coming from. Besides, circa 2006, i said i'd rather have a debut because if i would be driving a car, i want to be driving one i earned rather than one just given to me by my parents. Haha but that was me being a little too idealistic back then. Of course i want a car now. Haha. For my health, dad, for my health! Haha. Anyway, i don't want to dwell on this topic anymore...

Last friday, being the good ate that i am, i resigned to my brother's pleas that he wants to watch clone wars before going home. (Oh yeah, for once he waited for me before going home because dad told him i can't commute because i'm still a bit sick and because of pollution). So i texted Tins and asked her if she wants to meet me at ATC. A few minutes later she was calling and yay, we could meet :D Pictures of Tins and i at my multiply :D

Here's a snapshot of my fab nails, thanks to CANS :) I specifically wanted a set of bright, colorful nails because of the positive vibes that i so needed during that day, what after two incidents of nosebleeding for five minutes straight. My nails are so perky! i love! :D

Of Psychology and the Nation

I've always believed (well, from the time i began to see psych in a deeper level) that psychology has a role in nation building. Just a while ago, as i was reading an article for my upcoming exam in kas 112 (contemporary philippines), i came across a short paragpraph about a psychological warfare office under ramon magsaysay in the 50s. and then,boom!

You know that rush of blood, that palpitation, that sudden impulse when a flash of insight or thought comes to mind? that's how i felt. i don't know how to solve it yet, though. but a big question crystallized:

How can Filipino psychologists help protect the nation from psychological
warfares?

Also, this somehow strengthened my desire to take graduate units in psychology. four of the areas i'm most interested in are Sikolohiyang Pilipino, Social Psychology, Cognitive Psychology, and Industrial/Organizational Psychology. I [rhea]lized that if i am serious about my desire to really incorporate my background in psychology to law and to the laws i plan to make, then my bachelor degree would not suffice. i would want great filipino psychologists for my mentors, such as the great dr. elizabeth de castro for SP (who also happens to be an psychsoc alumna), the beautiful ma'am cherry joy billedo for social psych, the ever-witty prof. cecilia gastardo-conaco for cognitive psych (another psychsoc alumna), and the very diverse dr. mendoza (who was once a psychsoc adviser :) ).

I believe psychology should not be belittled when people are talking about the nation. for surely, change implies action, and actions are but behavioral manifestations of schemas formed inside the mind. we have often been told that it's the "system." true that. but are we to be like seligman's dogs in his experiments from which he derived the concept of learned helplessness?

During one of my conversations with my dad, i told him that i no longer want to be just a lawyer. I said, "dad, i want to be more than just that. i want to be a law maker." He told me, "but we have enough laws, the problem in in the implementation." I replied, "dad, i know. and i know too that a lot of people draft good bills. the problem lies when a bill is filtered way too much by the congress and/or the senate for the interests of the rent-seeking rich." Then he said, in an unbelieving tone, "so why bother?"

In my heart, i knew the answer. at the moment, i couldn't articulate it well enough, though. i think it's not really a matter of idealism; rather it's a matter of a refusal to passive acceptance.

Sometimes, too, i feel like i'm putting too much pressure on myself. the mere public declaration of my desire to be a law maker makes that desire more like something that i would then have to prove. numerous studies have concluded that public declaration of a certain view strengthens that person's view. so i guess to prevent any cognitive dissonance in the future arising from failing to fulfill the dreams of my present self, i guess it's worthy to note that, in the words of our guest speaker in my i/o psych class last summer, "the missions (of an organization) may change, but the vision cannot." In other words, how i plan to be a "nation-builder" may differ from time to time, perhaps partly due to influx of different influences, but my main vision of doing something for the love of this country won't.

And with that, i'll leave you with an edited picture of my creative shot. (The actual one from the studio is yet to come, so forgive the not-so-good editing and the grainy quality of the photo---> haha priming :P )

Regression towards the average

It's a social psych concept. and since i'm a very lazy blogger at the moment, go and find out what it means, if you're interested. haha. anyway, i think that's what's happening to me now.



i started out with almost perfect exams (either a .5 mistake or a 99/100). but i'm not so confident about the last four i took. probably, i'm regressing towards the average. good thing i knew it's perfectly normal, else i'd be ranting now.

lesson? chill. what you begin with does not necessarily mean it's what you're average output will be like.

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Oh, people, i've got a new multiply layout. check it out! :)

Decisions, decisions

As some of you might know, i've been thinking about my creative shot for the longest time. and yet i was cramming the day before. ahhh, the horrors of indecision. so i [rhea]lized that giving something a thought is not enough. if you're indecisive like me, you'll end up as if you haven't given it much thought.

Anyway, here are a couple of pics from sunday at SDA :) SDA, ily! <3

while waiting for our turn: psychsoc batchmates je and chesca :)

with my makeup artist <3

pretty, pretty girl! siya lang nag-makeup niyan!

because the photographer loves me. background ko lang daw sila :)) hence, those looks :P

re: creative shot

July 31, 2008
6:52am

For those of you who have fallen in love with the creative shots i posted and have been excited to see me in something similar... well, you might have to postpone that excitement for a bit. I just fell in love with another idea.

This one is something i've always had in mind. But i never really put that much thought into it because i wanted something more "glamorous" for my grad pic.

For the past few weeks, especially during the past few days when THE day is drawing nearer, i've always been concocting images of me in different shots in my mind. It's almost all i ever think about. I even bought fashion magazines (Preview, Mega...) for inspiration.

But indeed, something is amiss. A small voice at the back of my head seems to be uncomfortable. My "glam," pa-pretty ideas seem to lack something: SUBSTANCE. But then, the bigger voice would always shut the small voice up. "So what? You want to look great, to stand out, to be noticed, right?"

But then i [rhea]lized i've been too focused on pleasing other people, on looking as gorgeous as can be in their eyes. In your eyes. Lately, i've been passionate with one thing: looking good fro my grad pictures. But i seem to have forgotten an entity to look good for: ME. Or more specifically, my inner self, my ultimate passions.

My dad, as some of you might know, is an engineer. A civil engineer. For a time he wanted me to be and engineer, too. I bet you never knew that. Well, he wanted someone to take over our construction company. But well, he never forced me to be one sinc ehe believes in supporting our own dreams. But just before feeling the urge to write this (and precisely one of the reasons why i am writing now), i [rhea]lized i can be an engineer, too. And that more than that, i actually want to be one. Ok. Hold your breath. I know this is so surprising for you.

But yes, i do--albeit, a different kind. I want to be a social engineer. I've always wanted to be one (though i never really labeled it as such) the first time i heard the words "prime mover" sometime during my middle childhood years. And unlike before that i only wanted to be a lwayer, now i want to be something more: a LAWMAKER.

Sometime during my second year in college, i fell in love with a goal: to really apply psychology to law, and to utilize psychological methods in promoting the development of human welfare, of the Filipinos, moreso.

Nation-building is one of the things i am superrr passionate about. But that's one thing most people don't really know. Because most people don't see past my girly image. But of course, some of you who are reading this don't know that either, or aren't aware how much passionate i get when i talk about it. But i'm not blaming you. After all, that's not something as readily observable like the clothes i wear.

I would like to break away from merely being the girl who loves clothes. And as what my ates and kuyas in PsychSoc might have noticed, i don't even claim to be the baby anymore. Their younger sister, yes, as they will always be close to my heart. But as their "baby" who almost always depended on them, not anymore.

And now is the time to break away from the stereotype. Yes, i can be maarte when it comes to all things feminine. Yes, i'm a lover of clothes. But i am more than just that.

So what then, will my creative shot be? Frankly, it's 45 minutes before my first class and i haven't prepared yet. So i'll leave you to speculate.

7:45am