cookies, doors, and other simple things

I've been spending most of my time at home this sem break. I missed home. For the last three weeks of the semester, i barely got to savor each moment without worrying at the back of my mind about other things.

Now i get to rest, to just ask our househelper for just about everything i need, to ponder upon things, to relax... Ahh i love :)

It's sweet how i know have time to enjoy the little things... alone, that is :) You see, i'm alone here most of the time, with only our househelper with us. Not that i don't miss my boyfriend. I love him and i do miss him soooo much. But i find happiness in finding happiness in my solitude- even after being used to a guy's semi-perennial presence. You follow?

I especially enjoyed the Murray Sugar Free Oatmeal Cookies :)
Yumyum! And it has cinnamon, baby :) So anyway, i [rhea]lized that i still haven't lost it. I mean, my penchant for simple things. 'Cause despite the high ambitions and all that jazz, the little girl will always be within me.

[rhea]lity: this is, by the way, the door to my room

[rhea]l issue: and if only it could talk, it cold give you detailed stories

about my past frustrations, excitements, heartbreaks,

and so much more.

[rhea]lization: doors don't have just a single purpose. it may lead you in.

it may lead you out. it could also connote possibilities. but

mostly i think doors presume the idea of exclusivity.

you can choose who you want to let in. just remember to

be careful ;) in this age of technology, we might be giving

up a greater amount of privacy than what we should

actually be allowing.

Thoughts about the Zodiac

"This is the Zodiac speaking. I like killing people because it is so much fun. It is more fun than killing wild game in the forest because man is the most dangerous animal of all to kill..."

Based on the true story of America's most notorious serial killer, Zodiac is a definite must-see for all thrill-seekers, puzzle-lovers, and aspiring detectives. A word of caution though: this is a morbid movie. Do not watch if you have heart problems or if there are kids around.

What really piqued my interest in this movie was the fact that it poses challenging questions to psychology about man and his desires. This may not really be apparent since the whole focus of the movie was about the mystery surrounding the man who sends letters and ciphers to newspapers after every crime he commits. It was found that the Zodiac may have been inspired by a movie, The Most Dangerous Game, from which he got the idea of hunting humans since humans are "the most dangerous animal" of all. One of the first things that came to mind while watching the film was that this man, whoever he is (or was), is (was) in need of some serious psychological help.

One of the major suspects (and this is now based on some research that i did :p) was once diagnosed by a psychologist of having the "inability to control self-gratification." Could man really go so low as to find gratification in killing people? I am of the opinion that this man really had psychological problems.

The Zodiac, until now, has not been identified. After his first victims like the teenage couple inside a car and the lone couple by the lake, some had the idea that he is a sexual sadist. In one of his letters he threatened to continue killing "lone people in the night." Hence a curfew was implemented in some towns. This guy definitely has/had a sad, sad life. The prime suspect has long been dead... And for all we know, he might still be out there. He no longer sends letters and ciphers. He's unheard of. Maybe he's dead. Maybe.

I just found out that the book by Robert Graysmith, whose bestselling work became the basis of the movie, had many inaccuracies and received a lot of criticisms. If you want to get your own dose of the Zodiac mania, you can either:

1. watch the movie

2.read the book

3.read the reviews

4.visit the following sites:

http://www.zodiackiller.com/

http://www.zodiackillerfacts.com/

5.do your own research

or

6.do all of the things i recommended above.

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His handwriting is very much like that of yours, buddy allen! :P really. look!;) and you share the same name as the primed suspect. haha! buddy peace tayo! i know you like movies like this one. if you haven't watched/read it yet,i highly recommend it :)

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Where i'm hardest hit.

"Do not dress up for show: doing up your hair, wearing gold bracelets and fine clothes; all this should be inside, in a person's heart, imperishable: the ornament of a sweet and gentle disposition-- this is what is precious in the sight of God."
-1 Peter 3:3-4

If there's one addiction i find hardest to leave, that's got to be vanity. (As if i have any other long-standing addiction).

I have always known, even prior to coming across these verses, that the physical things the world looks at aren't the ones God values. But i'm stubborn when it comes to that. When i'm feeling insecure, the first things that come to mind are shopping sprees and reading magazines for tips on how to fix your hair etc. (Which i never really got to do. I mean, the fix-your-own-hair part. I don't even know how to put on makeup, beleive it or not!).

Right now i don't know what my take on this is. I mean, knowing how the mind can come up with rationalizations when there's cognitive dissonance... Next time perhaps i'd ask Fr. Jboy :)

33 seconds

...and it meant so much :)

Clearly, time's yardstick cannot measure happiness.

Sometimes we can have the longest conversation with someone and yet feel so distant. And sometimes, 33 seconds are all we'll live for.

It's pretty much like a number of other things in life. Like the 10-minute oral exam in my philosophy of law class which took me three days to prepare for. Or that one final moment when our eternity is to be decided--- a lifetime of strife.

It's been a while. A long while.

I don't know what's going on in the country.

There. I said it. And it's a huge shame.

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If there's a will, there's a way. Or so they say.

I've been trying to read newspapers but i never really had the time. I don't have a tv in our condo unit, so perhaps that spells a big difference. But now i'm home. No more excuse to not be in the know.

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Rhea will try her best to keep up with what has been happening and hopes to finally be able to write her thoughts about things, especially current events.

Rhea has been preoccupied with so many other things. But Rhea is a UP student. Rhea has to know.

-

“The more we live in lieu of heaven, the less of earth we covet.”

-Fr. Mario, Sept. 25 Mass aka the Shame-on-you Mass

The homily yesterday reminded me of the work that i have to do, the work that i have not really paid much attention to beacause i felt like “i barely have time for myself.” It reminded me of why i was so passionate about it when i started and why i should relive that dedication. It also somewhat settled the cognitive dissonance i’ve been having, which i discussed in my latest blog entry in my other blog account.

It’s so easy to fall into worldliness. All those “must-haves” that magazines dictate, the mouth-watering chic pieces in shops, the fancy restos you regularly visit with your family, the many opportunities for partying that you struggle to ignore for your “priorities” even if what your heart really longs for is to just have fun, the insatiable thirst to see and be seen, to spend and to spend some more. Oh, and that desire to look so damn good--- precisely one of the strongest reasons for all the worldliness. Vanity. Social comparison. Which is quite futile. Like the philosopher in the Bible noted: it’s like chasing the wind.

For the past semester, i’ve been seriously considering resigning from my post in GK next semester. Admittedly, i was so passionate when i started. Passionate and dedicated to the point that it was almost all that i did. It became priority number 1. And quickly after? Burnout. I felt like i don’t have enough time for acads. And for myself. This sem, i accepted the position half-heartedly, truth be told. If only there was someone else to handle it. The main reason i remained was the fact that i can’t just leave it without someone to take my place. Wrong motivation, i know. But seriously though, i felt like i wasn’t functioning well. After some time, i barely worked. I focused more on myself and on other things. What’s more, each time i browse multiply or friendster, i’d often feel i’m missing out on a lot. I felt like i wasn’t having as much fun as the others. I felt like i’ve been spreading myself too thinly. Others seem to have ample time for leisure! And here i am, stuffed with responsibilities! Somebody tell me, why am i doing this again? I often heard those lines in my head. You know, there was even a point i regretted taking the position of Unit Head in YFC. Basically, i just wanted to focus on my own life. Somehow i felt like i was missing myself. I wanted to be like the others who seem to have all the time in the world to party regularly. I dreamt of study-rest-shop-party routines. I’ve had a long list of “I want’s.” On top of that list was to be relieved from responsibilities. Next was to have all the money to finance all my other wants. It has been, needless to say, all about me. Me, me, me. Yet i still stayed in my posts. For some reason i became steadfast and stayed.

As you would have guessed, the homily yesterday made a big impact on me. “Face to face with Death, money is immaterial. If we invest in our temporary stay here on earth, how much more should for something eternal? I believe that those who are blessed with more in life should also reach out more. I’ve been quite fussy about how i look and redirecting my lifestyle that i’ve been sidetracked.

My life has been greatly blessed by the Lord. He deserves nothing less than true dedication and love for his works.

Lost.

It really saddens me that i barely know what's going on in the country right now. I mean, we have no tv in our condo and i'm only home on saturday nights. sundays, we usually go out. so there, almost no tv for me.

I guess it's about time i read the papers again. I miss my journalism class in high school.