Monday, February 25, 2008

I call myself patriotic?

I thought that age correlates directly with social awareness and social participation. As for those who got jaded along the way, I always thought that it wasn't about age but merely because they grew hopeless, desperate because no change is happenning, thus the apathy. Or maybe also because they started building their own fortune and forgot about their countrymen's needs in the process. Still, I thought that as people grow older, except on the occassions mentioned above, they grow to be more knowledgeable about the society, and that knowledge--be that from the academe or from the field--would perpetually cause anxiety in them and move them to actually do something. But then that ain't always the case.

I'd be in my senior year in the UP DILIMAN in a matter of months. You'd thought by now those who are like me have a clearer picture of the world, and an inkling on what they'd do to change the world. Having been educated in the country's premier university's melting pot, I'm supposed to be one of the most socially aware youth who's actively doing something for the country and who always have something intellectual to say about what's happening, right? But I'm not.

Bothered by this seemingly apathetic attitude, yes. I'm super. But generally, what am I doing? Last Friday, Jun Lozada was at Malcolm Hall. I only knew because I was walking with my groupmate to SC to have our survey answered. It took my attention, yes. But I only looked at it, dismissed it, and continued walking. All I ever cared for at that moment was getting the remaining missing resepondents. Now we have a tv at the condo. Before I excused myself for not being aware because we don't have tv. Now that we have one, do I even bother? Well yes, at times I do try to keep in tune, but usually, I don't.

I'd like to say I'm just so busy with the stuff I have to do for school. I am. I am. But a certain feeling, a certain attitude is creeping into veins. Apathy. I don't even really feel the drive every day. I'd like to blame it to acads. But I cannot externally attribute every single time. And my acads are precisely telling me to care. My Field Methods class and my Sikolohiyang Pilipino class, for example, are both geared towards making the students more aware of their local environment. Sometimes I feel the urge to know about everything. I still do thirst. But then when the other aspects of my life beckons, I turn my head, and live just like most of the other people do.

Now going back to the correlation I was talking about in the first line of this entry, I think that some people begin appearing to be apathetic because they also have a life to live. As they grow older, they come to hold more responsibilities--say, striving to get that graduate degree, getting a job and maintaining it, or starting to have a family to feed. Inasmuch as people would want to care (and once in a while they are bothered like I am by the fact that they're doing nothing for the country, I suppose), some just have a hard time using a macro lens and feeling the need to do something for a greater cause when the immediate, apparent, and most relevant things in their everyday life always beckons. Now I know that's not really a good excuse. But that's a fact. And some of these people, myself included, actually feels for this country, bleeds inside when other people bash it like they know everything...

When one doesn't do something so obvious for the country, one need not necessarily be apathetic. Now they may seem apathetic, but whoever said only the external, obvious things matter? For example, I focus so much on my studies because I wanna be admitted to the country's best law school. I wanna be admitted to the country's best law school because that would be my ticket to having a stronger hold on the country. I wanna draft bills that are socially relevant. I used to just want to be a criminal lawyer. But why extend my help to only my clients when I could do so much more for the country?

Despite those good intentions, I know what none of that would still excuse me from being aware of what's happening in the country. Last year I started regularly buying Time Magazine to be in-the-know with the socially relevant stuff in the world. But oh my, did I miss so much of what is going here!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Less than two months and... much has happened! :D

And now a [rhea]lization: I guess being busy is my opium.

I love it.

Acads + lots and lots of org activities/responsibilities (from my 3 orgs) + family things + quality time w/ jamo + time for myself + more time for acads + reflection moments.

Yay, nagagawa ko siya!

'twas a happy, happy celebration of our 55th! go psychsoc! thanks to all the alumni who came! some were even from decades back! :)

I have mentioned it in my multiply playlist, but i have to still say it here. If there was chantal kreviazuk's this year last year, this year it's kt tunstall's suddenly i see :) gotta love it!

Well, her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her
Is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her
Feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm
Suddenly I see (suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (suddenly I see) W
hy the hell it means so much to me (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me
And I feel like walkin' the world
Like walkin' the world
And you can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
She fills up every corner
Like she's born in black and white
Makes you feel warmer
When you're tryin' to remember
What you heard
She likes to leave you hanging on a wire
Suddenly I see (suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me (Suddenly I see}
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me...
and yes, that songs says a lot about my goals and [rhea]lizations :)

Saturday, February 9, 2008

On the current political bruhaha

Running the country mafia-like.

May God guide and bless the Philippines.


I just had my nails done at the nearby salon and took a cab, rushing to my 10 am class yesterday. It was already 10:20ish. I didn't know it would take that long. The cab driver was listening to the am radio.

I heard a man in an emotional state talking about something... para sa ikabubuti ng bayan at sa kinabukasan ng ating mga anak... or something like that. I heard he was referred to as Lozada. I was dying inside to know what it was all about. What the hell is happening? I could picture the man, he was shaking, perhaps crying. I could only speculate, I can't see anything.

It was only this morning when my parents asked me, "o, anong nangyayari sa UP?"

Perhaps i've really been apathetic. But there's just been too many rallies that sometimes i don't bother to pay attention. WRONG, I KNOW. MALING MALI. But then, i won't go about talking why. I've had a number of entries discussing just that. The rallies, that is. Anyway, so i told them that i don't really know. And so they informed me about it.

I was appalled. At everything. I'm actually out of words to describe how i feel about everything. This is real life action and drama.

I remember Dr. Enriquez, father of Sikolohiyang Pilipino, when i was pondering about the sitch. I've been too busy with my psych majors. Too busy to bother to listen to or read the news. Too busy to care. When he came back to the Department of Psychology in the 70s, he was appalled how come the students were engrossed with their lab rats and the whole department seemed to have a protective bubble, with a business as usual attitude, seeming to not care about the current situation. Psychology is a discipline concerned with people. Hence, psychology, as a discipline, should serve the people... Okay, for non-psych people i don't know if you get the connection but well i don't really have the time to elaborate anymore.

When i was a freshman, i was always in-the-know. Was it because i was a freshman and i had more time? Or is it because the novelty and excitement of being an Iskolar ng Bayan soon faded when my acads became more demanding? I hate to think that it was just a phase.

As a UP student one must never be "too-busy-with-acads-and-responsibilities" to care. Because after all, aren't the things we learn in school supposed to be utilized for the benefit of the people? Of ourselves, too, of course, but always with the desire to help the country and the people.


Gloria and the people who tolerate these "systematic looting of the national treasury" who also happen to graduate from UP are a disgrace to the institution.

May I be guided to never be like that in the future. As they say the system is already so dirty, and even the idealists get brainwashed. I hope i won't have to be in such a situation in the future.