Tuesday, January 29, 2008

are you serious?

I was browsing for my childhood self's favorite twins, and i found this --->

1. A Sweet Valley High gameboard????

2. What the? Can you find your boyfriend back in time for the big date? How (insert appropriate negative word here, i can't find one) is that? >.<

3. For ages 8 and up. Eight and up, come on. :

As early as 8, you train young girls to look for their boyfriends? Are you serious?

On second thought, when i was 8 i already had crushes. that i won't deny. but for capitalists to take advantage of little girls' fantasies (which are fed by other capitalists, too) and provide them with these games as if saying that starting 8, it's okay to get into a relationship...

And yeah, why hype up that 'big date'?

But then again, when i was a child perhaps i thought like that, too. fairy tale overdose, i think. I went through a phase like this one, too, especially when i started reading Candy during 5th grade. So you know, i'm no conservative who's overreacting.

Okay, i can't out the right words together. So i'll just leave you with the picture. I was surprised and bothered. What emotion did it elicit from you?

Sunday, January 27, 2008


I've finally [rhea]lized how insanely immature I've been. For countless times I've put up fights with Jamo. I'm just so blessed he's an ever patient man. Now I'm changing. For the better :) Perhaps it also marks the beginning of my more secure self. And I have two to thank: him and Him ;)

Sometimes, we could be fooled by what we seem to see. And the saying still stands, honesty is still the key. And boy, am I thankful I expressed how I really felt about everything. Now I know better. And now it feels a lot better :)
(this is a family-related issue so i'd rather be vague)

Haha... I get different answers from people. So tell me, did i look younger or did i look older?

Saturday, January 19, 2008


It’s January 16, 11:30 in the evening. By the time I get to post this, my exam in my major class, which is 13 and a half hours away from now, would have been over. Hopefully, I did well.

I’m currently studying for it right now. I’m almost done, actually. But despite the fact that I shouldn’t be veering away from reviewing, I can’t help but do just that. Friends, that class is my Field Methods class. And the topic I was just reading a while ago is about Panunuluyan.

As I read about it, I can’t help but picture our group doing panunuluyan in one of the Gawad Kalinga villages. I originally wanted to do that, but at that time I wasn’t able to express myself well enough and I wasn’t sure how we’d go about our study if we do GK for our final paper. If only I have read about this then… GK fits in the picture so well! We could be doing all the things in our readings had we done GK.

But don’t get me wrong, ha. I like our topic now J We decided on that topic because through sharing, we realized that it’s something we all could relate to.

Reading about Panunuluyan now, though, I wish I could still find an opportunity in my other classes in the future to do a psychological study about GK. I don’t know exactly where. Perhaps not in a class anymore; perhaps I could do that purely for service.

I guess I just miss GK L Armed with all the things I’ve learned from the class and especially from the great Dr. Elizabeth De Castro (who was once a PsychSoc president!), I feel like I could relate to GK more now.

Tomorrow, UPGK will sponsor the Builders’ Launch at NCPAG. But I don’t want to attend another launch… You see, for the time I’ve been involved in UPGK, most of the things I did weren’t even things I like doing; nor did I excel in them. Still, I did those things because as a freshman, I became enamored with the idea of Gawad Kalinga. I talked about it a lot. But mostly were second hand kwentos. Yes, I do go to builds at times… But you see, the heart of Gawad Kalinga lies in how we gawad kalinga to our fellowmen. To gawad kalinga is to relate to the very people you are helping. And to relate is not just a one-time thing. When you were able to form pakikipag-palagayang loob with the people in the community and you are also nakikipagkaisa with their interests, then that’s when you’ve reached the core of what it really is to gawad kalinga in the strict Sikolohiyang Pilipino sense.

I guess my passion waned when I started getting stressed and not truly feeling GK. I’ve attended many talks, some even gatherings with only a lucky few with the Tony Meloto, but still those weren’t enough to sustain my passion for GK. There, I’ve admitted it. For the past weeks, I’ve been noting to some how I miss the UPGK one year ago. And admittedly, I think I failed as one of the leaders to really commit my time. But alas I’ve finally realized what was missing: my heart, my passion, lies somewhere else.

And now I know where. As someone who in her childhood days already aspired to a prime mover in the country, I have always wanted to use my training in psychology to benefit those who are in need of help in this country.

Now I feel like there’s this huge gap in my heart. I miss GK. Sobra. I’ve never reached what we call bukana ng loob. I’ve served in the UPGK Execom for two semesters, and yet I haven’t really gone hardcore. I’ve always been more of just the one who talks about it. But through our in-class lectures and on-the-field experiences, I’ve realized how big the difference is when you experience something for yourself. Like what our Dr. De Castro said, you’ll never know how it is to be like someone unless you’ve been in those person’s shoes; and that by the end of Psych118, we will never be the same again. So true.

I have experienced GK. But I still haven’t experienced it the way the others have. I guess by the time I get to really immerse myself in it, I’d be able to appreciate it more. I still want to pursue the study. I just don’t know how I’ll fit that in my schedule if it’s not for class, given that field work is TEDIOUS work. Previous 118 students literally lived together for a week and countless weekends for the paper. And that’s just the paper. There’s also the field part, which is the more tedious one.

My Field Methods class taught me to be humble. In general I’ve always liked finding comfort in being me… until 118 came and humbled me to really try to be someone else, just so as to have a more in-depth understanding. Do you know how much we were able to write in our critical analysis as fans-for-a-day in Wowowee? Actually ours was quite easy. Those from our professor’s past classes tried being a prostitute (though only up to a certain point, okay), a beggar, an embalsamador, a mentally-incapacitated individual, a gasoline girl, a messenger in the pier… (Some were semester-long projects, that’s why)…

I don’t want to be part of UPGK’s Execom anymore, as I feel like I’m not really for that. But I would very much like to be a regular visitor in the villages, and perhaps establish close ties with the people there. I have been with GK for quite some time… And yet now I realized I haven’t really been with it. To touch somebody’s life for a day already means a lot. That, I have experience, especially during my first build. But to touch a people’s lives continually and to go deep in your pakikipagkapwa with them… that must be one of the greatest feelings. That must be found in GK. ;)

Friday, January 11, 2008

Go get your happy ending.

My planner has a quote for every week and the title above is the quote for next week.

How apt. Field report in 118, two outlines for english10, paper for 150, survey, group report about kant, oral exam about kant's duty and reason, field methods exam. And that's just part of the academic part.

When things get tough, there's no better emotion than perkiness.

So yeah, as each day comes to a close, i'll make sure i got my happy ending ;)

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Life is funny

Who watched Wowowee today?

Who would ever believe that I actually went to ABS-CBN and waited in line to be part of the Wowowee audience and dance all those dances that I have always not liked? Haha. Yes friends, much to my distress, me and my psych group mates actually danced to Sayaw Darling and the Wowowee theme songs and smiled our biggest smiles while doing so. *shudders*

Hahaha! I hope none of my family saw me on tv. Haha! The camera focused on us more than twice. Close up. More than fifteen seconds each, I think. And on tv, that’s already long! Especially when you’re doing something you used to 100% believe you’ll NEVER be caught dead doing. Srsly. Never in my craziest imaginations have I seen myself doing that.

Let’s get some perspective here. In the car, when my dad or my brother is looking for a good radio station, whenever they hear some novelty song, they’d turn the volume up, savoring every twitch in my face and every minute that I try to endure whatever was playing. They love bothering me like that. So you see, if ever my dad or my brother ever saw me doing that, they wouldn’t let me hear the end of it. Ever.

Life often plays tricks on you, really.

Now let’s move on to the culrpit. Haha! Well, we did it for our field methods class in psych. Hmmm… how do I explain it plainly? Hmm… let’s just say that we were told to role-play. That’s a bit too simplistic, haha. But basically, the examples were: pretending to be a beggar, a vendor, a janitor, a gasoline girl, a snatcher, an insane person, a prostitute, etc… We chose to pretend to be fans. Haha! Okay now after mentioning those, what we did seems too easy. Hmm… how do I explain the rationale behind it? Well basically, our professor told us that if we want to understand a certain group of people, nothing beats actual experience. So actual experience, it is. Haha! And by the way, some of the examples mentioned above were done for a semester and the dangerous ones, like pretending to be a snatcher and a prostitute, have backups and arrangements. Ours was only for a few hours.

Okay it’s not as easy as it seems. Defensive, haha! It’s really putting yourself in somebody else’s shoes, seeing for yourself how the world treats you if you’re in their position. Basically with we didn’t pretend to be someone else. We came as ourselves. Only that our real selves would have never gone there in the first place. Haha! So anyway, we learned a lot about what happens there, stuff people don’t really see on air. Hmmm… And those are reserved for our field report ;)

Oftentimes people take things as given. But then again, ethnomethodology tells us that rather than being concerned with the outcome/product, we should look at the process and start asking why, start noticing the informal structures within the formal ones…

Okay I was blabbering haha and that was kinda vague. Sorrrry.

Who would’ve ever thought I’d learn so much from going to Wowowee? Okay I still can’t believe everything that occurred today. Haha! Clarification though… those weren’t things that the show taught us. If any, the only things we directly learned from the show was how to dance to their songs, follow their instructions…The things we learned were more from our own observation of how things are like ;) Kayyyy I don’t want to go on blabbering now. Haha!

*Janna, the new host, is Jam’s cousin J Pictures in my multi to follow.
**I told myself that my absence from 108 last Monday would be the very very last for the entire sem. I missed my 108 again today. For Wowowee
K Haha
***Thanks to Jam’s tita who got us tickets
****Si Jam lss! Hahaha! :p

Dear life,

Among the things I have always believed I’ll never be caught doing, what will you make, no—make that coerce me to do next?


Sunday, January 6, 2008

Uncovering the stereotype of the passive, submissive, and/or 'under' males in heterosexual relationships

Hi everyone! Our group in my Field Methods class in Psych is conducting a study about men in romantic relationships wherein their partners are the more dominant ones.

We are in need of Filipino participants who are or who have been in that kind of relationship, 18-25 years old, male or female, for our focus group discussions and for interview. (Those who will be in the fgd's will not be asked for an interview, and vice versa).

Whoever is interested to participate, or who knows a male who is passive, submissive, or 'under de saya,' please do email me at rhealizations@yahoo.com.

Our group will try our best to meet you where it's most comfortable for those who will be interviewed. For the fgd's, we'll hold it in a place nearest the majority of the participants.

Please, please, please do help :)

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Good vibes, baby.

Hello 2008!

20007 has been dear to me. You, I feel, are tempting me. Good vibes only, baby :) Good vibes. This year i foresee myself adapting a riskier behavior, stretching my limits a little bit more. And i'm so ready to spice things up ;)

my 2007 planner alongside my 2008

I expect a lot from myself this year. Each time i see that 'it girl' cover of the power planner, i keep telling myself: this year, i'm gonna do things that would bring me closer to being that girl sometime in the future.

Sometime this year, I will have my picture taken for graduation. I would be feeling the butterflies come LAE time. This is it! This is the make it or break it year for that one dream i've cherished most than all the other professions my younger self ever thought of. I would also be celebrating my first year as a non-teen. So there. Ate M texted me earlier, "sana magdalaga ka na nga talaga."

Sometime this year, I will be prioritized again during the reg period and i would have the label "graduating" on my Form 5. Just the same, my younger brother would also be graduating from culinary school.

This year I'll get to know myself better. Not much of the old one, really, but more of what i could become.

And i can feel it. This year i could be your angel, or the friend who would listen to you rant all night long, or the nerdy girl who still has the time to party and look hot. And yes, since i'm starting with good vibes, i can also feel that this year, i'll be calmer and a lot more patient. I've lost my cool countless times in 2007 and the years before that. I'll try to chill more this year.

Like i said, good vibes :)

as usual, we welcomed 2008 by gathering and praying just before the clock strikes 12. and then followed by dinner. it has always been like that. daddy wants us to spend the first few minutes of the year praying and thanking Him for the great year that has passed. we've also always spent new year's at home, it has been part of tradition. so inasmuch as it seems tempting to go to eastwood or anywhere else to par-tay, i guess new year's eve, to me, will always be time for Him and the family.
Hello 2008. I'm so excited to know more about you :)

christmas girl :)