erased all of his messages.
deleted his numbers.
throwing him out of my life.
*more room in my inbox now. tsktsk. he's taken up so much--- my phone's memory, my time, my heart.
BUT I AM SO DAMN TIRED. HE'S NOT WORTH IT AND I'M FINALLY REALLY MOVING ON.
rhealization: there are some people who are sooo not worth it that you shouldn't even think of crying.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Concert After-thoughts, Rheality Bites, and a Snapshot
Concert pictures (and concert kwentos) are at my multiply-> http://superrr.multiply.com.
I wanted to put some here, but i really don't have much time. So those in my multi should suffice.
The preparations, countless (long) meetings, and sleepless nights--- i won't forget those. And most especially, i'll always remember the people i got to work with (even on christmas break!) and the lessons i have learned. I've committed a number of mistakes yet the team remained a team. We were at each other's backs. And best of all, we worked because we have an advocacy: to do what we can for the Philippines. I still can't get over the fact that it's finally over. But hey, that concert was just some sort of a "kick off" for the other activities ahead. It's not even a week and i already miss the team! :) Well, we're just resting. We'll start working pretty soon, i guess.
-----
I got to shop again last night! ^___^ Got a new white mini from Bayo, a pair of denim pumps from Suki and a nice pale yellow graphic tee from People are People.
When we got home though, i got to watch the Correspondents for a short while. You know why it got my attention? They were featuring people living in karitons. One family even gets drinking water from a canal. That was really disturbing. They live in a cart! And they don't even own that cart. :( Then it hit me. I had goosebumps and i was reminded of why GK means so much to me- and why i need to sacrifice time, money, and effort for our projects. Because there are still so many people out there without a home.
...And then i felt a pang. I spend a good amount of my father's money on material things. My new and bigger closet is now almost full. And yet i still feel i don't have anything to wear, thus the urge to ask my dad for shopping money. I do have rationalizations, though. Actually, more like justifications on why it's ok to spend money on shopping while there are people who don't even get to eat three times a day. Rheality bites: no matter how much you give, the problem is still bigger. But then again, here's another rhea-lization: no matter how big the problem is, there is a solution. And well, i do work for Gawad Kalinga, right?
I know i'm still young. My ideals may still be kind of twisted. Actually, i don't know. But for the meantime, let me grow. Let me rhea-lize the things i have to realize. Let me learn. And let me live. :)
-----
December 18, 2006. With the woman who almost died 18 years ago, just because of me.
Isn't she beautiful?
I wanted to put some here, but i really don't have much time. So those in my multi should suffice.
The preparations, countless (long) meetings, and sleepless nights--- i won't forget those. And most especially, i'll always remember the people i got to work with (even on christmas break!) and the lessons i have learned. I've committed a number of mistakes yet the team remained a team. We were at each other's backs. And best of all, we worked because we have an advocacy: to do what we can for the Philippines. I still can't get over the fact that it's finally over. But hey, that concert was just some sort of a "kick off" for the other activities ahead. It's not even a week and i already miss the team! :) Well, we're just resting. We'll start working pretty soon, i guess.
-----
I got to shop again last night! ^___^ Got a new white mini from Bayo, a pair of denim pumps from Suki and a nice pale yellow graphic tee from People are People.
When we got home though, i got to watch the Correspondents for a short while. You know why it got my attention? They were featuring people living in karitons. One family even gets drinking water from a canal. That was really disturbing. They live in a cart! And they don't even own that cart. :( Then it hit me. I had goosebumps and i was reminded of why GK means so much to me- and why i need to sacrifice time, money, and effort for our projects. Because there are still so many people out there without a home.
...And then i felt a pang. I spend a good amount of my father's money on material things. My new and bigger closet is now almost full. And yet i still feel i don't have anything to wear, thus the urge to ask my dad for shopping money. I do have rationalizations, though. Actually, more like justifications on why it's ok to spend money on shopping while there are people who don't even get to eat three times a day. Rheality bites: no matter how much you give, the problem is still bigger. But then again, here's another rhea-lization: no matter how big the problem is, there is a solution. And well, i do work for Gawad Kalinga, right?
I know i'm still young. My ideals may still be kind of twisted. Actually, i don't know. But for the meantime, let me grow. Let me rhea-lize the things i have to realize. Let me learn. And let me live. :)
-----
December 18, 2006. With the woman who almost died 18 years ago, just because of me.
Isn't she beautiful?
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Newfound Meanings
I used to think that letting go is a sign of weakness.
But now i know true strength lies in knowing when to break free, and fall gracefully.
Friendship isn't about changing the person, it's about loving the person and accepting him or her for who he or she is. Perhaps you can help him or her improve for the better, but acceptance is key.
Service isn't about the big things. It also includes the dirty nitty gritty stuff- the ones without the glory that the big ones can give you. Because service is in part sacrifice, and that's how things should be.
A team is a team when the members understand each other and have each other's back.
Finally, keeping one's word is of utmost importance.
*****
I never thought i'll reach the point when i can really do this. I mean, it's personal so i'm not going to give any more details than what i think i can give. I thought my emotions will always get the best of me. But no, i've kept my word.
Before you "love" anyone, love yourself first. It's in understanding your self's worth. I guess when i finally realized that... when i finally really loved myself... that's when i realized that holding on isn't really the best and courageous decision.
Imagine this: you kept holding on to a branch of a tree, thinking that if you let go you'll fall off the cliff, only to find out after such a long time that the ground...
is just two feet below you.
But now i know true strength lies in knowing when to break free, and fall gracefully.
Friendship isn't about changing the person, it's about loving the person and accepting him or her for who he or she is. Perhaps you can help him or her improve for the better, but acceptance is key.
Service isn't about the big things. It also includes the dirty nitty gritty stuff- the ones without the glory that the big ones can give you. Because service is in part sacrifice, and that's how things should be.
A team is a team when the members understand each other and have each other's back.
Finally, keeping one's word is of utmost importance.
*****
I never thought i'll reach the point when i can really do this. I mean, it's personal so i'm not going to give any more details than what i think i can give. I thought my emotions will always get the best of me. But no, i've kept my word.
Before you "love" anyone, love yourself first. It's in understanding your self's worth. I guess when i finally realized that... when i finally really loved myself... that's when i realized that holding on isn't really the best and courageous decision.
Imagine this: you kept holding on to a branch of a tree, thinking that if you let go you'll fall off the cliff, only to find out after such a long time that the ground...
is just two feet below you.
Sunday, January 7, 2007
-
pano na lang ang pilipinas kung lahat ng ating magagaling na doktor ay nangibang-bansa na?
WHAT'S UP DOC? HEROES ON CALL : THE STEP UP CONCERT
JANUARY 12, 2007
6pm
BAHAY NG ALUMNI
INVITE FRIENDS AND BE THERE!
*20 bands for only 50 bucks. waaaay cheap.
DAHIL BAWAT ISKOLAR NG BAYAN, BAYANI
kabataan, may magagawa ka.
Friday, January 5, 2007
so this is what growing older is like?
BE-SEE
(busy)
be- trying to be so many things in so little time
see- trying to see why i can't "protect" myself from myself. whoah. i'm spreading myself way too thinly.
SO-RHEE
(sorry)
so- so busy. i don't mean to be so hard to talk to.
rhee- isn't busy already rhee's (my) second name? this busy state is so rhee, so me.
and i'm sorry- if i always seem to have no time for you.
I've been confident of my plans for the future: i'll be a good lawyer but that won't be my main source of living. why? because i want law not for money but for the honor, prestige, and the all-together-good-feeling you get after just having "saved" someone. (For those of you who are confused, i want to be a criminal/family lawyer). Other than that, i plan to have my own clothing line. It would also be nice to be a columnist or something like that. Plus, i'd also like to be a psychological researcher (with my researches focused on topics i can use for my practice in law). When i imagine, it doesn't seem that hard. But now that i'm experiencing how it is like to have so many "commitments," i'm starting to think: will my life be like this for the years to come? always be-see, perpetually so-rhee.
hmmm...
(busy)
be- trying to be so many things in so little time
see- trying to see why i can't "protect" myself from myself. whoah. i'm spreading myself way too thinly.
SO-RHEE
(sorry)
so- so busy. i don't mean to be so hard to talk to.
rhee- isn't busy already rhee's (my) second name? this busy state is so rhee, so me.
and i'm sorry- if i always seem to have no time for you.
I've been confident of my plans for the future: i'll be a good lawyer but that won't be my main source of living. why? because i want law not for money but for the honor, prestige, and the all-together-good-feeling you get after just having "saved" someone. (For those of you who are confused, i want to be a criminal/family lawyer). Other than that, i plan to have my own clothing line. It would also be nice to be a columnist or something like that. Plus, i'd also like to be a psychological researcher (with my researches focused on topics i can use for my practice in law). When i imagine, it doesn't seem that hard. But now that i'm experiencing how it is like to have so many "commitments," i'm starting to think: will my life be like this for the years to come? always be-see, perpetually so-rhee.
hmmm...
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
New Year, New Blog
To a year of self-love :)
Ok, i hope you don't get me wrong. self-love is not selfishness. i just realized that i got to learn how to love myself more. if we're close, i suppose you know what i mean. see, i've been through a number of heartbreaks and all those teenage angst and bitterness. and now's a good start to be all-bright-and-sunny again :)
-----
On to other things...
* i failed to register. :c hence i can't vote. BOO. so much for being a good citizen. yeah, there still are other ways and it doesn't mean i'm suddenly a useless citizen who doesn't give a damn about the country. i can't say that it's only just one vote, either. last time, around 4 million youth failed to vote. and hey, that's a big number if you ask me.
* don't have plans yet for the night of january 12? then go to the What's UP Doc? Heroes on Call : The Step UP Concert. it's a concert/party for the benefit of the UP Iskolar ng Bayan GK Village. the concert is just part of our semester-long campaign for Advocacy and Action. for that night specifically, we would like to encourage would-be doctors to stay in the philippines. <3>
* i'll be back to school tomorrow. oh yeah. :) well, it's not like i'm dying to go back 'cause i've grown in love with my bed and my books and i would really appreciate having a longer break. but i do miss the people and i'm quite excited for the upcoming activities. so there...
* i wonder if i'll finally keep this one forever. well not forever forever, but you get what i mean. i've started blogging since i was in 2nd year high school. and i've had so many blogs since then, i actually lost count. (or rather, i'm just way too lazy now to count. but you get the point).
*i feel like so much will happen this year. for that one aspect of my life. hahaha *winkwink*. oh well, it's best not to assume. i'm better off expecting some people to forget.
-----
And i guess i'll let you in... <3
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