Wednesday, August 6, 2008

re: creative shot

July 31, 2008

For those of you who have fallen in love with the creative shots i posted and have been excited to see me in something similar... well, you might have to postpone that excitement for a bit. I just fell in love with another idea.

This one is something i've always had in mind. But i never really put that much thought into it because i wanted something more "glamorous" for my grad pic.

For the past few weeks, especially during the past few days when THE day is drawing nearer, i've always been concocting images of me in different shots in my mind. It's almost all i ever think about. I even bought fashion magazines (Preview, Mega...) for inspiration.

But indeed, something is amiss. A small voice at the back of my head seems to be uncomfortable. My "glam," pa-pretty ideas seem to lack something: SUBSTANCE. But then, the bigger voice would always shut the small voice up. "So what? You want to look great, to stand out, to be noticed, right?"

But then i [rhea]lized i've been too focused on pleasing other people, on looking as gorgeous as can be in their eyes. In your eyes. Lately, i've been passionate with one thing: looking good fro my grad pictures. But i seem to have forgotten an entity to look good for: ME. Or more specifically, my inner self, my ultimate passions.

My dad, as some of you might know, is an engineer. A civil engineer. For a time he wanted me to be and engineer, too. I bet you never knew that. Well, he wanted someone to take over our construction company. But well, he never forced me to be one sinc ehe believes in supporting our own dreams. But just before feeling the urge to write this (and precisely one of the reasons why i am writing now), i [rhea]lized i can be an engineer, too. And that more than that, i actually want to be one. Ok. Hold your breath. I know this is so surprising for you.

But yes, i do--albeit, a different kind. I want to be a social engineer. I've always wanted to be one (though i never really labeled it as such) the first time i heard the words "prime mover" sometime during my middle childhood years. And unlike before that i only wanted to be a lwayer, now i want to be something more: a LAWMAKER.

Sometime during my second year in college, i fell in love with a goal: to really apply psychology to law, and to utilize psychological methods in promoting the development of human welfare, of the Filipinos, moreso.

Nation-building is one of the things i am superrr passionate about. But that's one thing most people don't really know. Because most people don't see past my girly image. But of course, some of you who are reading this don't know that either, or aren't aware how much passionate i get when i talk about it. But i'm not blaming you. After all, that's not something as readily observable like the clothes i wear.

I would like to break away from merely being the girl who loves clothes. And as what my ates and kuyas in PsychSoc might have noticed, i don't even claim to be the baby anymore. Their younger sister, yes, as they will always be close to my heart. But as their "baby" who almost always depended on them, not anymore.

And now is the time to break away from the stereotype. Yes, i can be maarte when it comes to all things feminine. Yes, i'm a lover of clothes. But i am more than just that.

So what then, will my creative shot be? Frankly, it's 45 minutes before my first class and i haven't prepared yet. So i'll leave you to speculate.


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