Sunday, March 11, 2007

decisions, decisions

read the following verses. they're wonderful. just wonderful :)

"A scholar must have time to study if he is going to be wise..." -Sirach 32:24

"Seek your happiness in the Lord and He will give you your heart's desire. Give yourself to the Lord; trust in Him and He will help you." - Psalm 37:4-5

"Don't give in to worry or anger; it only leads to trouble." - Psalm 37:8

"The Lord guides a man in the way that he should go and protects those who pleases Him. If they fall they will not stay down, because the Lord will help them up." - Psalm 37:24

"I waited patiently for the Lord's help; then He listened to me and heard my cry... He taught me to sing a new song, a song of praise to our God." - Psalm 40:1&3

"Instead You have given me ears to hear you, and so I answered, 'Here I am' " - Psalm 40:6

"Oh, may my behavior be constant in keeping Your statutes." -Psalm 119:5

"But, Yahweh, You are closer still..." -Psalm 119:151

"I am wandering like a lost sheep: come and look for your servant." -Psalm 119:176

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my body still aches due to yesterday's gk build.

with what i have observed, there are so many things UPGK has to work on for the site. one would be instilling values and proper conduct. the kids, lovable as they are, still need to be taught how to behave well.

and in relation to that, i felt like i really need to devote more time in the site.

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I am struggling. In my heart i know i want to please the Lord, but it doesn't really show in my actions. As you all know, i'm a self-confessed brat. It's not like i want to be like that forever. That's why i'm really trying my best to be consistent with my reflecions and my convictions.

I want to serve the Lord; that's one thing i am certain of.

But in what way?

One can serve Him in many ways. However, i'm torn. I don't know where i'll be of best service to Him. Should i continue being part of Gawad Kalinga's Execom? After all, reaching out to the poor is one of the things that please Him most. Should i accept the letter of invitation to Youth for Christ's Execom? After all, it is the one focused on spreading God's word and making Jesus Christ known to all. Should i forego both offers and focus just on my studies instead?

I do want to serve. But i feel like i'm not mature enough to do so. With my inconsistent character, how am i supposed to be one of the leaders of YFC in UP? If ever, i would really have to watch myself and concentrate in my prayers because one awful misgiving and i might put a stain on YFC's name in the eyes of other people who have yet to know what it is like to be a Youth for Christ. There are still things i need to straighten.

I have up to March 15 to decide.

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as if the syllabus knows i have to make an important decision. our current topic in my psych 148 class (cognitive psychology) is about judgment and decision making. perfect timing, huh?

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Papers and exams are like an army from far away. And now i envision them getting nearer and nearer, ready to kill me. Waaa. I have to survive them all.

For more "busy-girl"-ness.

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