And now i start anew

The past Holy Week has, by far, been my most memorable. I'm just really glad that I had a happy Easter :)

Special mention to my good friend Patrick Padilla. I'm so glad I followed your advice :) It has been, after all, what my heart has been telling me. I just needed some prodding.

And so now I start anew. The past week has been the looooooongest I could remember. It has also been my "defining moment." With a renewed relationship with Christ and a stronger character, I think I'm now truly up to the challenge of facing what lies ahead :) I know that's quite vague, but those who need to know will know. This is, after all, a public blog that serves as a repository of my [rhea]lizations. Blabbing about my life is housed somewhere else.

Sadness, I just [rhea]lized, could give way to greater happiness. Sometimes, we need to be down, to feel sad, if only to enjoy greater happiness from the things we take for granted. Trials, I also [rhea]lized, are not there to bring us down but to shape our character and provide us with an opportunity for growth. Sometimes we do have to learn the hard way. But it's oh-so-worth-it.

Though vicarious learning is effective and utilitarian, learning from one's own experience has a supreme advantage: it gives you a personal insight on the matter.

And so now I start anew.

Pray for me :) For wisdom, guidance, and strength :) Pray with me. For your own journey in this wonder called life.

HAPPY EASTER, EVERYONE!

are you PROUD of your SIN?

here's a quoted block from an article written by bo sanchez. the complete link to the site is: http://bosanchez.ph/love-the-sinner-and-the-saint-within

now here are lines that really struck me:

"Are You Proud Of Your Sin?
I told her, 'You fall into pride on three counts. First, you seem to think that your sin is bigger than God’s love for you. That’s pride. Friend, God’s love is bigger than your sin…'

'And second, you seem to think that your moral standards are higher than God’s standards. That’s pride. Allow Him to love you in your brokenness. And give yourself permission to love YOU. And third…'

'Did I hear it right? Give myself permission to love me?'
I knew that those words were new to her.

'Yes! And third, all this time, you’ve been focusing on your sin. Am I right?'
She nodded.

'You think God wants you to grieve and wallow in guilt? You’re wrong. When you focus on your sin, you’re not focusing on God. Focus on God. Focus on God’s love for you. Or you fall into despair.' I began to think of Judas and how despair killed him."

Something to reflect on :) Click the link for the full article. It was really enlightening.

Jesus Christ Superstar

BECAUSE JESUS,
YOU'RE MY SUPER STAR!

This Holy Week has, by far, been the most meaningful one to me. This year, a Man who I have missed deeply came knocking at my door, and made me feel His sweetness all over. That Man is no less than JC! And His great love is the best!

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I have always regarded Lent as a season of restriction. This year though, I kinda veered away from the holy observances, feeling empty inside, spiritually. But all the while I have searched for Him. And I realized that I have been searching at the wrong places. All the while, I have unwittingly kept Him on the bench and focused my life on myself and on my relationship with Jamo. So wrong. The words from two of the most memorable books in my life, both given to me on my Debut, kept ringing, but the mind always had ways to rationalize, you see.

While watching the girl who portrayed Mary Magdalene sing Don't Know How to Love Him, for the first time I felt JC in a way I never had before. It's indescribable.

Now I regard the Holy Week in a way I never had before. More than restriction (fasting and abstinence, for example), the Holy Week is a time of liberation. Because through His death, we were liberated from our sins. And as such, this is a great time for us to bask in His light and to be filled by His love. It was out of love that He died for us. I guess that important bit is quite underrated in this Season, with people being preoccupied with observances. This, more than Valentine's, is the greatest time to love.

Sense of fulfillment

It feels good to know that in spite of all the hurts you are feeling, you could still love.

And it is refreshing to find your oasis amongst the less-privileged ones.

I've [rhea]lized that the best shield and weapon against hate is love. Seeing that I love even those who are not connected to me makes me feel alive. What joy it was to be with those kids from the GK Central Village!

I was really touched by how those kids still come to me and look up to me, even if now I don't get to buy them whatever they want from the store anymore. It was quite a heart-thumping feeling to have a kid come to you, eager to learn division, among other things. Those kids? Poor as they may be, but they've got a dream. And they've got the brains and the talents, too! While I was tutoring Raffy, some of the other boys were lingering. After the break, Anjory was studying with us already! Later, RJ (another kid from the village, not my biological brother) was hovering and looking at us. After the second break, he joined us too! I was quite impressed at how fast they got the math technique I shared. At the same time, I felt a bit proud of myself. How ironic is it for someone like me who hates math to actually teach math? It was interesting how those kids handpicked math to be our topic, saying it was their favorite subject.

And oh, how my heart jumped when my tutees asked when they would see me again! They even asked where I'd enter, and around what time. They said they'll wait for me. You know, those boys even wrote my name! My full name! It was sooooooo touching, I tell you. Even without them saying it, in my heart I felt that I have touched their lives.

And the best compliment ever? The little uber-cute tot who was waving at me, looking soooo cute, and instantly crying when i said goodbye. And then i bent down, hugged him, told him Ate will be back, gave him a peck on the cheek, and then he wasn't crying anymore. <3

I am dealing with a lot. But if I become very busy, I hope I'd get to keep in touch with that lot (those kids, that is).

***I will attach one, two, or three photos here as soon as mica uploads the pictures :)

Tagos sa puso.

"mari Buno: alam mo
mari Buno: eto na ung subukan ng totoong pagkatao
mari Buno: ipakita mo kung sino talaga ung rhea
mari Buno: kapag tinanggal mo na ung damit/ ung matinis na boses
mari Buno: ung stereotype ni rhea
mari Buno: eto na ung time na masubok na ang rhea na matatag
mari Buno: it's not a bad thing
mari Buno: sometimes, your life has to get a lot harder than before
mari Buno: just for fun"

--> bahagi ng naging pag-uusap namin ni ate mari, ang outgoing vice president at external affairs committee head ng psychsoc, na aking papalitan. pag-uusap tungkol sa bagay na malayo sa trabaho namin, pero parehong malapit sa aming puso. salamat ng marami. sobrang tumagos lang talaga siya.

Marahil ay panahon na nga upang mapatunayan ko ang aking sarili. Yung Rhea na matibay, mas may lalim kaysa sa nakikita nilang paimbabaw na katangian nang pagiging iyakin. Matagal na akong nabigyan ng isteryotipo. Elementary pa lang eh, marami dati ang naiinis sakin. Ang arte arte daw. Pero kasi, ang PAGKATAO, sabi nga sa sikolohiyang pilipino, ay higit pa sa personality. Alam ko sa sarili ko kung ano ang halaga ko bilang tao. At siguro, ang mga mahirap at mapanubok na mga panahon tulad nang ngayon ay ang pagkakataong matagal ko nang hinihintay upang ipakita ang katatagan ko bilang tao.

lesson learned

the greatest lesson ever, learned the hard way.

Today, though, at least i got acquainted to Strength and Resilience.

Better than coffee

is a good friend with whom you can share conversations with to keep you up all night :)

Starbucks wasn't able to keep me focused on writing my report for one of my classes, but my fun conversations with my friend Tins surely kept me awake :)

Now back to doing my report.

<3

jinx,

it's been half a year

and i love you still

-charm