Rhea-lizations, 2008

I'm going to close my other blog forever.
And just keep some things to myself :)

A couple of days ago, I made resolutions with frank remarks. I initially planned to upload it in my blog (I have pretty good ones, which some of you might even find useful and/or funny), but then I decided against it.

When the idea of blogging first came out (early high school, I think), I was sooo not game for it. Why would I want the world to know stuff usually I only know?

In the past months, I noticed how increasingly pressured I get to post stuff. Especially in Multiply. At times, I feel as if other people might think "oh what a boring life she's having, everyone out there's posting albums of barkada get-togethers, incessant parties, and stuff, and she hasn't posted any." Believe me (and know that it's hard for me to admit this), thoughts/social comparisons like that kill me.

In blogs, I often (like 99.99% of the time) watch my words. It's like applying make-up on food during food pictorials to make them look more palatable. You get me? What I miss about my old school diary days was the fact that I can just write anything, straight from the heart, without feeling any need to explain where I'm coming from, or to write a few more paragraphs so as not to make me look pathetic/idiotic/self-centered/whatever-negative-word-applies. There's no need, because I am the only one who gets to read it, and I don't have to explain things coming from myself to myself. But when I blog, I oftentimes feel the need that I have to.

So anyway... back to my kwento... I actually enjoyed writing stuff. They weren't necessarily realizations. Some where just things I learned and how I plan to apply them. I like how frank I was there. A number of things I said there, I would not have the guts to state online.

Have I mentioned here that I made a Tumbler blog after ditching my Livejournal? Well, I'm going to close that too :) Well, to the public, at least. Haha, and it's not like a lot of people actually read, so it makes the hassle of explaining all the more pointless. And no, I still don't like to blog in Multiply (I can only fathom cross-posting, in times when I really want people to read). This blog will remain. I love it. Haha. And maybe, I'd allow some (emphasis on SOME) entries from my private online journal to be posted here. Those will probably be the less personal ones. Ones where I just blab or when I just want to show off something neat.

You know the ultimate rhea-lization for 2008? I miss being true to myself. And in 2009, I'll be just that. Without having to worry of others' opinions. I miss writing about stuff that happened to me (in detail!). One thing I like whenever I read my old diary was the fact that I can actually remember the scene vividly because of my entries. But hello, I wouldn't want to share my life in detail online. And beside, that would just bore people to death. Years from now, I want to be able to look back in my younger days and actually find substantial stuff that would help me relive the "old days." A lot of my journal entries were filtered to the point of obscurity. How's that gonna help?

But I do love that I have this blog. I think this, in a way, is a symbol of my own cognitive (and maybe even social) development. I mean, before, I only had kwentos. But now, I have rhea-lizations, which require more complex cognitive processes. When I backread, I get to read about the stuff I've learned along the way, and maybe even evaluate if I am better now (in a number of aspects) compared to a few years/months back.

Book-ed for the Holidays :)

I started the day by writing on my beloved BDJ 2008 the stuff I still have to accomplish before the year ends. I felt like it was a good way to start after daaaaays of spontaneity prior to and during Christmas day.

Working during the break doesn't seem so taxing for me. In fact, I want it. Well, not the toxic kind; but rather, the type that's just enough to keep me feeling productive. Knowing that I have something to work on fuels my energy. Yes, I guess you can call me workophilic. In the words of Toni Colette in the movie In Her Shoes, "I think that it's what holds me together...that without it, I could fall apart."

When I speak of work, I do not pertain merely to work as used in the traditional sense. Rather, I define work as anything productive, anything done to achieve some kind of cause. I don't want to be just a woman who enjoys life socializing, drinking, and partying every now and then, donning the best the fashion industry has to offer, and climbing the ladder of success in her field (even if sometimes through extralegal means). Rather, I want to be a woman of substance. Someone who's always on the go to achieve something not just for her self but for other people, as well.

Anecdote: Have I told you before that one of my childhood dreams is to take one or two orphans or street kids out for a day and treat them to good food, neat toys, and maybe even take them home and give them a bath? I smile now at the memory. I know my ideas then as a little girl were very juvenile, but nonetheless pure to the core. I smile now at the memory. I know I actually can.

Anyway, this blog entry's title is actually pertaining to the two books daddy bought for me yesterday :D :D :D Happy happy happy YEAH!

Aside from work and interacting with different kinds of people, another thing I treasure is losing myself in a good book. [Insert here cozy pillows, raindrops, and hot chocolate]. So yesterday, I went to Powerbooks to get myself a copy of How to Walk in High Heels and The Time Traveler's Wife. Unfortuanately, the lady at the customer service station said that both were best sellers and that they ran out of stock. So I went to National instead. They also don't have the former, but at least they got Camilla Morton's book. Here's the sassier cover I was looking for (which wasn't available):

But since I have low EQ (hahaha) and couldn't pass the Marshmallow Test, I decided to settle for the less appealing cover, this:

Upon seeing the sassier cover again, I couldn't help but wish I waited. Haha! But well, I guess I might not have another chance to get my hands on the book, given that the holiday break isn't gonna last forever, plus the fact that the book I want is a best seller.

And since I can't get The Time Traveler's Wife, I decided to get a copy of Randy Pausch's The Last Lecture. It was featured in BDJ 2009, so I thought it could be good, too :)

And speaking of BDJ... I'm kind of disappointed that it has been mass produced. Part of the allure of the Belle de Jour planner before was that it could only be bought at select bookstores (definitely not National), and that only a few ladies know about and actually use it. You know me and mass production.

Anyway, I hope you're enjoying the holiday break!

Me and my mom. Christmas day :)

Put Jesus under the spotlight :)

Finally, I’m done with shopping for the Holidays! :D :D :D And blame it on Lookbook.nu, but even after 5 dresses, a skirt, a pair of shorts in the wash I’ve been looking for for n years, 4 accessories, 2 bags, and a pair of shoes, I’m still craving for more. I already have a long list of stuff I want to buy next time. Haha.

But then, sobrang tinamaan lang din talaga ako sa homily ng pari the other day and kahapon.

So guys, I do hope we don’t forget the Christ in Christmas. The idea of a Santa Claus and the Holiday consumerism try to steal the spotlight every time. But we shouldn’t forget that Christmas is actually the opposite- it’s all about the humble birth of our Dear Savior :) He didn’t come to the world in a grandiose manner. But it is in the meekness of His arrival that His Greatness is magnified.

Of course, I do not mean to say “do away with the spending!” My point is that despite the spending and all that jazz, we do find some quiet time alone to reflect and/or to communicate with Him—one that is meaningful and not rushed.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Oh and I’d just like to share a quote I got from one of the greetings:

“In a season packed with fake plastic trees, Styrofoam snow, and false cheer, I hope you find something real.”

Again, HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS! :D :D :D
CELEBRATE JESUS!!! :)

Merry Christmas!

My intangible wish was granted
and I am so grateful :)

Merry Christmas, y'all!

Twenty and Fabulous :)

The day before my birthday and my actual birthday were both pretty eventful :)

On the 17th, my classmates and prof greeted me when I entered the room, and the best part was that I got 11/10 in our lab quiz. Yay!

Practice for Handog was fun, too. Our actual presentation, admittedly, was the only sabog presentation. My favorite would have to be Buklod-Isip's because it was super entertaining! Good job, guys :) Anyway, sabog or not, what's more important to me was the fun times during the practice. Haha, the girls even practiced inside the third floor CR so we could all see our whole bodies while dancing, as if we're in a dance studio. Also, Ross and I bonded during lunch. Haha, I am a brutally frank friend :) But I know you love me for that, right Ross? Haha!

Mandala 2009 :)

Claudine Tecson, ang pretty pretty mo dito :)

Fun times, fun times :)

It was also the first time I got to watch the Lantern Parade! :D All UP units were represented! My favorite would have to be UP Mindanao's giant bird (FA is already a given, of course). As for the costumes, CHK!!! But the highlight was seeing Polly perform! Polly, we were so proud of you! Hopefully we'll see you compete for PEP next year! Bring it on :D

Got invited to the Christmas dinner of Batch 04. Haha :) I'll always be their baby :) On the spot exchange gift! As in sa Eastwood kami nagbunutan at dun din kami naghanap ng gift, with a 15-minute time limit! That was fun. Some of the POPS had dinner at Fazoli's pala, so when they saw me, they (Paul, David, Marge, Isa C., Lester, Carms) decided to drop by after their dinner. Paul stayed with us :)

With Tin Hernandez :)

And with the roommate I miss the most!

It was already past 12mn, so I bought a birthday cake from Cheesecake :) It was superrr pretty and really yummy! It was fun turning 20 with a group of older friends who has been a good support group during my college days :)

Birthday cake! :)

Twenty and Fabulous :)

Kuya AJ dropped me off at the UP Theater because Jamo and I were supposed to meet. We had a little fight, though. I guess I was hormonal that day. I cried twice during my own birthday, do you know that? Wala lang, I just felt as if the Ms. Engineering event was more important to him. But yeah, we were able to sort things out. Heard mass 4am. It was already 6 when I slept! But anyway, I felt much better when I woke up. We didn't get the chance to meet again but I was just happy that we were okay and back to normal and that we got to talk. I love you :)

I woke up 9:55 na! Haha! Anyway, I so love my emerald green birthday dress! Compare it with my 19th birthday dress and you'll see that even in that department, I kind of matured as well. But for those of you who are fond of the sweet, little girl image, I'll still don stuff like that from time to time. Haha. After all, it's not like I shopped for a whole new wardrobe to replace everything in my closet.

I was superrr touched with my birthday GA! My favorite would have to be the messages the people who presented gave me while presenting whatever they got for me. Thanks to Joybee (who bought the flowers) and JE (who bought the fishes) who prepared for the flow of everything :) I cried, okay! :)) Ang babaw talaga ng luha ko. Birthday card (actually, it was a pink corkboard with stars as pins for the messages) from my buddy Allen, fresh flowers and dance from some of the boys I love (Allen, David, Migo, JE, Paul), fishes presented with super touching birthday messages from my Exter babies (Val, Mikki, Kar, Cris, Isa A. The idea was Chesca's,btw), plus candles and wishes and some gifts from the seniors (buddy Venus, Gsel, Ross, Joybee, Chesca), execom (Marge, Bea, Reg) and Patrick! Sa dami ng bigay sakin, nahirapan akong iuwi haha at naiwan ko pa yung galing sa exchange gift (thanks for the black tube top and chocolates, though, Ida!)

My last and best birthday GA

The last Christmas Party where both of us were present was when we were still freshmen!

Fellow December 18 baby, Kriss Laidan!

With my super nice buddy Migo Mantaring and super loveable friend Joy Bantigue.

Birthday Corkboard (I have yet to read the messages) :D

Reg, thanks for the ride :)

Birthday dinner at Highlands China Palace with my family! :) I was choosing between Italianni's and this place, but then I chose this one since it's less crowded. Sleek's batt almost died. But being the girl scout that I am, I had my charger with me! Haha, no adaptor though, so RJ had to run to Ace Hardware just to buy an adaptor. I cannot not have pictures of my birthday dinner with the most important people in my life! Haha!

My younger brothers surprised me with a gift. It's a first, ok! So I was super surprised. It was so sweet! Here, look at what they gave me!

It says: You touched my heart and I LOVE YOU! :)

Like I said, I'm not going to say I'm twenteen. I'm twenty and I'm feeling it AND loving it. I can say that I am now significantly different from the Rhea that was even just a year ago. It's not something obvious to most (or to all), but I know that indeed I have matured.

Thank you, Lord :)

Somethin-somethin

Just a tidbit of information before proceeding to my actual topic:

For the lovebugs who consider kissing as one of their favorite activities, take caution! Apparently, too much heavy kissing can cost you your capacity to hear. Read more about it here. So next time you’re in for some liplocking action, keep in mind to keep things slow.
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New Year is still a couple of days away, but I’ll still post a couple of [rhee]solutions now anyway. You might want to read and pick up a few things, too.

1. From now on, I’ll keep all of my shopping receipts.

By shopping, I am particularly pertaining to buying fashion items. It’s beneficial in a number of ways. But primarily, the idea entered my mind after a busy shopping day last week when I [rhea]lized how many stores offer membership cards for a minimum purchase of so and so. Hello?! Without calculating, I knew right then and there that if I had only kept my receipts, I would have availed of a number of memberships. Also, by keeping the receipts I can monitor how much I actually spend on clothes (or rather, how much of my parent’s money goes to my closet). Plus, as a clothes-phile, I think store receipts would be a pretty good collection :D

2. From now on, I’ll be a wiser shopper in the sense that

a.) I won’t let hiya get in the way when deciding on whether to buy something or not.

There were a number of times in the past when I bought something just because I thought that I just have to, all because I already spent a considerable amount of time in a certain store trying on more than three things. Nahihiya kasi ako sa sales lady, most of the time. So what I end up doing is this: I rationalize and tell myself how really nice a certain piece is, just so that I’d feel happy buying it at that moment. Key phrase? At that moment.

b.) if it doesn’t feel right, then I won’t buy it.

Sometimes, I really feel ambivalent towards a certain piece. And most of the time, I take the easy way out by buying. I [rhea]lized that the items in my closet that I really enjoy using are the ones that would fall under the “love at first sight” category, the ones that I just knew I had to have the moment I saw it on me. In Katrina Aligam’s (a batchmate in psych) words: dapat may sparkle!

c.) it will be quality over quantity!

While looking for a bag last week, I [rhea]lized how numerous the bags in my closet are. Yet only a select few are actually still useable. The same goes for my shoes. From now on, I’d rather spend each shopping allowance on one, two, or three things with good quality than splurge on a great number of items which will probably just be donated to the rummage sale next year.

3. After the Christmas break, I shall cook my own food!

Well, not really everyday, but at least twice a week. I spend so much these days, sometimes I just get surprised that I only have a few bucks left in my wallet. Then I withdraw from my savings account. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Instead of increasing, my money in the bank is decreasing! So to save, from time to time I shall cook my own food. Kahit nga yung mga canned goods lang eh, okay na.

4. I’ll strive to keep my baggage light.

a.) Literally

My bag is heavy 97% of the time. It creates huge, ugly, red marks on my shoulders and it’s a pain in the ass, especially when I have to commute or when I am shopping. I’ll try to minimize the stuff I bring and make sure to have with me only the essentials, as much as possible. I’m thinking of buying smaller kits so that I won’t have to bring my entire pencil case (I have LOTS of pens) and kikay kit with me all the time. Actually, it’s not really all about the content. I’ve [rhea]lized since I was just a little kid that the strap width (and cushion) of a bag is correlated with the perceived (meaning felt) weight. Two straps, like in backpacks, are great, because weight is distributed, and even more so if the straps are wide and if they’re cushioned (believe it or not, I already noticed that as a kid and even used it to reason out to my mom why I prefer a certain bag over the one she thinks looks cuter).

b.) Figuratively

Just a few hours ago, I decided to end my Livejournal account and create a new blog under Tumblr for random kwentos, feelings, ramblings and whatnot (as you know, this Blogger account is reserved for rhea-lizations). The reason? The latter was angst-filled. And I just felt like I need a fresh, new start. Now whether that account will have readers or not, I shouldn’t care much anymore. I miss the good old diary days when I write stuff that happened during the day/week just because, for nothing else. 2007 was one of my best years. 2008, however, was eventful in a wrong kind of way. But sometimes, the things we label as “wrong” in our life are actually the sources of realizations that lead us to making things right. 2009 shall be a year of maturity, a commencement of applying the rhea-lizations I have had in the past 19 years of my life :)

Not-so-subtle

I was hinting in the last entry, but now I’ll be blatant :P I’ve been wanting to make a Christmas/Birthday wish list since last last week. Not because I’m actually expecting people to get them for me, but because I like the dreaming part. You know that feeling you get when you enumerate the things you like coupled with the idea of actually having them? :)

Anyway, here are my wishes :D :D :D

1. Pet fishes :) The ones that have something nice about their feature, And if possible, I want ones in vibrant colors—especially purple and royal blue! Also, I want small ones that grow, so I can feel like a proud mom when they do grow :D :D :D Oh, simple joys :)

2. Nicely arranged flowers. They never fail to brighten up my day :)

3. Flower seeds. The type that can actually grow in our garden (read: not the types that only grow in places with Baguio’s climate). If you’ve noticed, this is a mix of wishes number 1 and 2. It’s something that I can take care of and it’s a flower :)

4. Photoshoot certificates!!! I’ve told you guys about Lookbook.nu, right? Well, I haven’t posted anything for a long time and I have a number of outfits I would like to post, only that I don’t have pictures of myself wearing them. And the pictures have to be taken nicely! Haha. Besides, I really enjoyed our grad pic pictorial and I’d like something like that again :)

5. Hair and makeup tutorials. Haha, I am turning 20 in less than two weeks, graduating from college in a couple of months. Still, I don’t know how to do my own hair and makeup during events! And, Cher, my all-time favorite character (for those of you who don’t know her, she’s the lead in the greatest chic flick Clueless, played by Alicia Silverstone) once said in the book series (oh yes, when I was younger I collected the Clueless series hahaha) that hair badly done (or not done at all) can ruin a great outfit. Hear, hear.

It’s a pretty short list :) These are the things I REALLY REALLY WANT. Haha!

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But hey, here are some other things that would definitely make me smile, too. I think I shall ask some of them from my parents (if the one intangible thing I really, really want won’t be granted, or if they’d grant that and still ask for what material thing I want, which would be the best case scenario for me haha).


~White knee high boots :)

~The black bag from Terranova :D It's the softest among all their bags :)

~The super duper mega soft flipflops from Shangrila, like Lyan’s! :)

~A UP jacket (the one in white)

~Enrollment at John Robert Powers :D :D :D I already told my mom about this, and she already kind of agreed. We’ll see, I hope I have the time. Anyway, you might be curious why… But you know, even if I do look confident, I believe there’s still a lot about my personality / attitude / stance which I need to improve on. When I look at a number of girls my age and see how nicely they carry theirselves, how confident and spunky they seem… stuff like that… I can’t help but wish I’d be as good as carrying myself. This might come as a shocker, but yes, I tend to be shy girl at times.

~Bvlgari perfume! I miss my favorite scent. The Crystalline Omnia. It’s the one in a circular container. Dad stopped buying it for me since I had a boyfriend. What the : Dads. Hahaha.

~Basic makeup stuff :)

~Tube tops in different colors! Beige, black, blue, red, yellow, green, etc.

~The Time Traveler’s Wife book. It was on my list last year and I still don’t have it haha. Thing is, I don’t get to buy it because I barely have time to read literary books now.

~Strawberry Cadbury!!! Lots and lots of it.

~Dried strawberries with casoy from Matahari or any of those Thai / Indonesian kiosks. It’s now one of my favorite snacks at home. I think the dry strawberries cost P90-P95 per 100 grams :D Tastes super goooooooood with casoy (also from one of those kiosks).

~AND LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST. RINA ALBERT NOTEBOOKS!!! RINA ALBERT DAPAT. HAHAHA. I’ve been planning to actually email her because I’m such a fan! Hahaha. The notebooks in standard size cost less than P200, and they’re the glossiest notebooks ever! The one thing I’m sad about, though, is that there aren’t any new designs lately. Haha, so that’s why I’ve been planning to email her and request for new designs. Anyway, if I do see some fabulous new designs for the ones in standard size, I’d be a super happy girl.

On a side note, I can’t believe I’ll be turning twenty in a couple of days. Oh no, no, you won’t be hearing me say I’m twen-teen. I’m embracing my new age with arms open wide and with a mindset full of positivities :)

I only posted the tangible stuff. The intangibles that I want are more personal ;)

Fishing

Yesterday, our Marine Science 1 professor gave each of us a pet fish as a Christmas gift.

You might want to learn more about Betta Splendens here.

The ones he gave us were imported from Thailand. I let Lesly name mine Kusalagufagoof. Haha. Anyway, weird as the name might sound, I let her because she seemed too eager and excited. Haha. Cute. Now it makes me wonder what kind of big sister I’d be like if I had a younger sister. I think it’s kind of different being a big sister to younger brothers. Anyway, Kusalagufagoof shall be his “official” name.

But his nickname shall be Pier :) There were two colors —blue and red. I actually find the blue one much cuter because parts of it turn purple from time to time. The one I got was red, though. Anyway, I thought it looked kind of hot :) Haha, but not until Pier started looking so timid and sad. Anyway, that’s where I got the nickname: from fiery, hot red. Fiery --> Pier, got it? Haha.

Our MS1 prof is really like a lolo. In our first day of classes, he gave each of us a friendship bracelet. Haha! And, the fact that he’s Chinese and that he came from Samar made me miss my late Papa more. Like our Ms1 prof, Papa likes giving us, his grandchildren, different kinds of things before he got sick. We used to get something almost every Sunday, be it a bike (the one I got was in super hot pink), a Chinese dictionary, lots of goodies from Ongpin, a new toy, or even a crisp one thousand peso bill (and that was when I was only five or so). And I was his favorite, being the first born and all :) Awww, I really miss Papa.

Mkay… moving on…

I now want to have lots of fishes as pets :) The cute ones! I [rhea]lized that I like the feeling of looking after a living thing. And hey, I never felt such kind of attachment before to members of the animal kingdom. Hint, hint! My birthday’s coming :P